Since coming out, I've received so many comments / questions that, well... make me cringe. Unless you're apart of the LGBTQ+ community, you'll never really understand how many times some ridiculous things are said after you're "out." If it hasn't happened to you, it's happened to one of your queer friends.
Whether these things happen directly or indirectly, they happen all the time.
(I do understand that these things are not always said to hurt or offend someone, but they are the norm thoughts for all straights of the world. Let's review some of them just to see how ridiculous they actually sound, shall we...)
1. Yes, I'm sure.
Yes, I'm sure ... Are you sure you're straight?
This question is just a bit mind boggling. Even if someone isn't sure, is it really any of your business?
2. Being gay isn't like trying different foods.
What I mean is...you don't have to have experience with both males and females to know what your sexual preference is.
I have approximately zero experience with guys.
My longest relationship with a male lasted around 3 years. It sounds like quite a bit of time, but I was fairly young and it felt like I was spending a lot of time with a best friend.
At the time I didn't fully understand these feelings. I didn't get why after so long I still wasn't feeling any sort of sexual attraction.
Now it all makes a ton of sense (insert chuckle to self here).
3. Just because you're a girl does not mean I'm attracted to you (I cannot believe I actually have to type this...face palm)
Just as straight people are not interested in every person of the opposite sex that they interact with, lesbians aren't attracted to every female that they see. Maybe we think you're pretty, or tell you that your OOTD is on point, but don't worry... we're not hitting on you.
4. Neither of us is the boy...that's the point.
If one female from every lesbian couple was supposed to be the boy then lesbian couples would not exist. It's 2018, how is this not common sense?
5. I don't need you to pray the gay away.
Been there, tried that.
If it still isn't clear, being gay is not a choice. We are not sick. We are not doing this for attention. We were born this way.
It takes us a long time to accept this, to accept ourselves, and these types of comments don't make it any easier.
Personally, as much as I appreciate prayers for almost anything in life, my sexuality is not one of them.
6. No, me and my queer friends are not some sort of gang.
This may be the funniest one yet.
Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I hangout with other people that are gay. No, we are not trying to make you gay. No, we are not all attracted to each other.
7. "But you don't look like a lesbian?"
What...does...this...even...mean? (Really though, can someone explain this to me?)
Every single person in the world has their own style (i.e. feminine, masculine, androgynous, etc).
The way that someone dresses does not determine their sexuality. Please stop, labels are not fun.
8. "Are you sure you want everyone to know you're gay?"
Gay individuals spend enough of their life in the closet. Point blank.
When they are finally out and comfortable enough to be their true selves, this kind of comment shuts our confidence down to just about nothing.
Someone being gay should have absolutely nothing to do with how someone else feels about them.
They are the exact same person that they were before coming out, you just know a new fun fact about them.
9. "Wait, you're gay? But I thought you wanted kids."
...And we can still have them.
Is it going to happen in the traditional way majority of the world is used to? Nope. But it's possible.
And hopefully in the future, people will care more about kids being brought up in a great home environment more than caring about a kid having two dads or two moms.
10. Coming out is not a one time thing.
Coming out isn't just hard because you have to tell the whole world you're "different." It's not just hard because some people may never look at you the same. It's not just hard because you will most likely be judged and treated differently in many aspects of life.
It's hard because for the rest of your life, that fear never really goes away.
Once you decide to come out, you never really stop coming out. It's a life long thing.
Be an ally and make your LGBTQ+ friends feel safe and wanted.