To be quite honest, it's been a rough year. I feel like 6 months of time got away from me...
I've felt sad more than I've felt happy and I've made a lot of mistakes because of that.
We all go through rough patches, we all have shit to deal with.
The most important thing is that we keep going; we learn from the lows to make the highs feel that much better.
As lonely and as hard as it is when you're sad, we really do become better people on the other side.
We become stronger and smarter after some time in a storm.
This year is flying by and it's already been full of lessons.
No one is perfect, but I'm doing my best to be better every single day.
1. Great friends come at unexpected times
Alexis and I never really hung out with anyone...like ever.
I think for a long time that was because of the whole "completely in the closet" thing.
We didn't really have the same group of friends when we started hanging out (except for our Lacrosse team) so I think that as her and I became more serious we just spent a lot of time together, and once she graduated high school, we didn't really have friends that we both felt comfortable hanging out with together?
Luckily, we built a friendship with two incredible ladies less than a year ago and they have really opened our eyes. As much as we still love our time together, we got that feeling of having friends back and it's been nothing short of fun.
2. Long weekends make for some of the best memories
I'm not sure if it's because you feel like your time is limited or because you truly appreciate the little things as you get older (probably both), but we've enjoyed 2-3 long weekend trips this year and they have been a couple of my favorite trips I've ever taken.
On those weekends I completely cherished the moments as they came and they are memories I will never forget. I am so incredibly lucky to have the ability to take trips like these. And even luckier to have someone I love experiencing them with.
3. Work hard, reap rewards
At the beginning of this year I was working as many hours and as hard as I ever have. I was making more money than I ever have and I lost that sense of motivation a bit when I got into my funk.
I have been slowly inching my way back to that, knowing what I have to do to get back to this place.
4. Do the things you've always wanted to do
When I first started feeling sad, I knew I needed to find something that was my own. My thing. When I needed an outlet or some alone time, it had to be for me. Here you are, reading my blog, which came from this idea.
This is something I've thought about starting for a long time but held myself back with shitloads of excuses that I'm so glad I've gotten over.
5. Don't take the good things or people in life for granted
In my dark few months, I became lonely and sad, but now that I'm more aware I also became very selfish. I only thought about my problems, my fears, and the things I was unhappy with.
I gave all of that more attention than the things that make me feel safe and happy.
I hurt other people and only focused on anything negative; trust me when I tell you it was not hard to see through my bullshit.
6. Surround yourself with people that genuinely care about your well-being
Somehow, through my sad, selfish funk, people stuck around. My unconditionally loving girlfriend, my supportive friends, and my best friend that truly didn't deserve what I put her through.
People that actually care about how you are will put up with some tough shit and I am so damn grateful for these people.
7. Sometimes it's okay to not be okay
You are allowed to be sad and confused. You are allowed to feel all of your emotions. I have been an emotional person my entire life. When I tell you I feel shit to my core, it's a DEEP type of feel.
To me, it's not okay that I put those closest to me through my shit, but it is okay that I was going through the shit.
Life isn't always going to be perfect.
8. When life isn't going how you'd like, check yourself before blaming others
I did a lot of finger pointing the last few months.
If something didn't go right or I felt frustrated, I blamed someone else if I could.
I'm trying to be more mindful about taking a step back and asking myself "what can I do or how can I react differently to change this situation" before pointing the blame at someone else.
Growth usually isn't easy, but it's always worth it.